i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
