I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
