I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
