I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
