but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
