i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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