there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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