I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
