Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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