Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
