At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
