there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
