The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
