i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
