Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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