i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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