he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
