Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
