Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
