Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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