I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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