Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Randomize
