Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
