Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I party with great urgency now.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
