Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Do vagina's smell?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
