Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
