this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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