Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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