I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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