i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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