What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
