hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
