a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
