My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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