id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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