actually, I'm a sock model
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
