Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
