Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
