I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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