I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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