ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
