porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
