I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
