I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
