I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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