so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
