Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
