Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
