Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
