Sponge bath it is.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
