i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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