Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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