stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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